Chicago Cohousing NetworkExcerpts from Trust by Jack Gibb
I discovered this book in the late 1970′s. The ideas he expressed are just as true today as they were then. The need for trust is even more necessary now as our society undergoes a transition in how we will have to live. – Hal
Trust and Fear are keys to understanding person and social systems. They are primary and catalytic factors in all human living.
When trust is high relative to fear, people and people systems function well. When fear is high relative to trust, people and people systems tend to break down.
When fear levels are high relative to trust, individuals and social processes are impaired. The life forces are mobilized defensively rather than the creatively. When fear levels are high enough, person and social systems become immobilized, psychotic, or destructive.
When trust is high enough. Persons and social systems transcend apparent limits—discovering new and awesome abilities of which they were previously unaware.
To trust with fullness means that I discover and create my own life. This can be done by:
- being who I am
- discovering and creating ways of opening and revealing my essence to myself and to others
- discovering and creating my own paths, flows and rhythms
- creating my organic nature, becoming, actualizing or realizing this nature
- discovering and creating with you our interbeing – the ways we can live together in interdepending, community, in freedom and intimacy.
Genuine intimacy is a pervasive human want. It is made possible be our seeing each other as we are without our masks, filters, or facades. The highest level of trust is to assume that the environment is benign and tractable and can be influenced by our own creativity.
The high trust process also allows other people to be where they are, and to be able to join with them in an attempt to see together what is, and to collaboratively look at what might be.
Mutual design of a high quality environment is a high trust way to do therapy, teach school, minister a church, parent a home, (live in a community) or govern a country.
High quality environments can be described by:
- high trust levels
- low constraints
- being ourselves, showing our essence, being able to express our wants, and being able to be with others and create new dimensions or interbeing- (community).
- people can feel good about themselves and maintain high self-esteem.
- a wider range of options is available for possible action and involvement.
- defensiveness is reduced against apparent, perceived, or anticipated attack.
Group living at any level is a collaborative and joint process of discovering. No one knows finally and absolutely the best way of being together. Life in each group is a continuous process of discovering.
Learning comes not from getting in touch with our limitations, getting feedback on our error, or trying to remove deficiencies. Learning comes from strengthening our present ways of being, freeing ourselves from our constraints, going with what we do and feel, being in our own rhythm and flow.
Structures apparently play little or no part in accomplishing the conscious purposes that people have in mind when setting themselves up. The demand for structure is to satisfy a need for predictability, order, security freedom from turmoil, efficiency and fairness. Group members ultimately find that these apparently secure constraints are made of sand.
The problem is that structure simply does not accomplish these ends. Without trust, structure instead produces circumvention, resistance, stagnation and unfairness. If there is high trust, structure is not necessary.
The goal then needs to be: how to create high trust environments. Regular and daily interaction with others as found in cohousing communities offers the possibility of healthier people that can grow out of a healthy community. – Hal
